Worst Rap Songs Ever Made

Nicki MinajIn a genre as big as hip hop, you’re gonna get some great music. But, even the scene’s most talented artists are gonna have an occasional flop.

Making a list of the worst rap songs ever made didn’t take a lot of searching – most of the work was paring down the list to a manageable five songs. Some of these are from hip hop hit makers, others from people who should never have picked up the mic. All of them are the worst of the worst:

Nicki Minaj – Stupid Hoe

If you’re gonna make a diss track, you gotta come out with something stronger than this. Nicki Minaj gives us her best impression of a car alarm opening with siren-like whooping and moving on to high-pitched beeps. Her fast rap style is sharp as ever, but, it’s wasted on dumb one-liners.

Christian Side Hug

You know that sense of embarrassment you feel on someone else’s behalf when they make a fool of themselves? Christian Side Hug’s laughable warnings about the dangers of face to face hugging induces the most acute contact-embarrassment you may ever feel. The song and live performance video were made in 2009 for the youth and abstinence Encounter Generation Conference.

Dee Dee King – Funky Man

As a punk rock bassist and songwriter, Dee Dee Ramone was a legend. As a rapper, an embarrassment. He’d gotten into rap during one of his many rehab stints, and frustrated his bandmates by showing up to gigs wearing large chains and fedoras along with the band’s signature tight jeans and leather jackets. But, as the boastful Funky Man demonstrates, no one actually sat him down and told him that maybe this rap thing wasn’t for him. The song came out as a 12” single; a full album of even worse rap songs followed.

Nas – You Owe Me

Nas can dish out criticism of terrible rap songs, but, he better be able to take it, too, because “You Owe Me” is one of the worst rap songs ever made. Amateurish beats and a seizure-inducing video are only made worse by lyrics that assert that Nas has lots of nice things, so, women should pay tribute by backing up and shaking their asses at him. They can even hold his diamonds while they do it. The charmer!

D4L – Laffy Taffy

Speaking of Nas, this is the song that caused him to declare that hip hop was dead. While the assertion was demonstrably wrong, it’s not hard to understand his dismay. Terrible lyrics and beats that were apparently made on a Casio keyboard from RadioShack make this song unlistenable. It was once a number one hit; what everybody was thinking? HipHop365 now ranks this as the worst rap song every made, and, they’re probably right.

 

Written exclusively for RobLunaMusic.com

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